Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
