I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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