and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
