margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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