At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
