I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
