mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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