I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
