may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
