I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
