So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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