you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
