ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
