yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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