just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
