LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
