So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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