my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
