This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
