Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
