matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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