I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
