Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
