you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
