she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
