I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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