Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
