im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
