Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
