Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude i'm inner monologue high
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
