marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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