i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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