what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
