There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
