i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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