The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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