I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All the doctor said was why
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
