I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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