12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
