Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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