i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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