Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
