Whod you bang
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she peed on how many people?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
