we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
