I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
