I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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