I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
