On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
