make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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