We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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