is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
