He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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