Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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